Reflections of the Heart (Ch. 5 - Hans)

In chapter five Andy Stanley talks about how we can deceive ourselves if we listen to our heart rather than pay attention to what’s prudent.  “The heart is deceitful above all things.”  (Jer.17:9)  The tendency of the human heart is to turn inwards.  Sure, we think we have a giving spirit and consider the needs of others.  But by default (and too often) I think about myself and my needs first and foremost.

As I reflect on this chapter I realize that my heart deceives me by saying, “take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family.”  While there is some truth here, it’s very easy to live every day starting with me and maybe getting to everyone else. 

How does your heart deceive you?  For me it’s my desire for knowledge.  In college I struggled through my first couple years of classes because chemistry, anthropology and zoology just couldn’t hold my attention.  But when I got into courses on exercise and education, courses which applied to my area of interest, I really started to excel in the classroom.  I became a knowledge junkie.  After two years of loading my brain with useless material, all of a sudden I was learning things that fascinated me and drove me to learn more.  I was learning about how people learn and the science behind exercise and its affect on the body.  Call me a geek – no really, you can call me a geek.  I’ve accepted my identity as a book worm.  But it’s this search for knowledge that allowed me to do well in school and begin to discover my passion in life.

So for me it’s been a struggle for me to take care of myself and my quest for knowledge before I take care of my family.  I'm not an absent father.  I don't isolate myself and leave Katie and Sorin alone.  But if I'm honest with myself, I have a deep inner gravitation towards seeking more knowledge.  Why?  Because I want to provide for my family.  Because I want to be the best I can be.  Because I want to set a good example of a dad who is disciplined and works hard.  Those are good motivations, but I can't let good overtake great.  Great motivations are quality and quantity time with my family.

What I really appreciate about this chapter is the focus on how important it is to reflect on your heart and its motivations in your life.  Stanley readily admits that this chapter is nothing new to anyone.  But I think it is only a very disciplined person who examines his heart and searches for answers to how he organizes his day’s time and priorities.

(Chapter 4) Applying Vision - Hans

Short post today, but I wanted to reflect on chapter four titled "Should've seen that coming." This chapter references Proverbs 27:12 which says,

"The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it."

Andy Stanley describes two situations about looking ahead, the guy who bought the billboard in the middle of the forest and the skipper who knew his weather report. These two accounts are on pages 49-53 in the text.

I'm guessing that I related so well to this chapter because I know I don't do well looking ahead. Honestly speaking Katie is the better visionary for our family. She looks months ahead and starts planning for things with effortless attention to detail.

But I find it interesting how God puts together a series of events to teach you lessons. I haven't picked up the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People lately, but it is a really good read. The last time I was reading it we were learning about planning ahead. Covey recommends planning a week and a month in advance. Most people just plan day-to-day. Do you already do this? Well it was new to me but it became a discipline that made life easier. I'm still working on it but it makes so much sense. The skipper prepared for a 5-day journey by having weather forecasts for all five days (maybe more in case the weather moved in sooner than expected) and he acted on his reports.

What does that look like in my life? For me it's about planning events, activities, and trips for our family. If I sit back and let my weeks and months play out without planning, we won't do anything as a family. I need to constantly be planning for family, work, personal development, budget, and career direction to stay on the right path. We get so easily sidetracked if we don't regularly look at our map.

Chapter 4 (Aunt Sue)

Just finished reading chapter four "Should've Seen That Coming". Quite interesting to read that at age 54:) but one of the clear messages that comes through is ...do the right thing, even when it may not be the easy way. Once again I love the emphasis on choosing a simple Scripture that will give us a focus when difficult decisions come our way. I ask again, does anyone have Scriptures chosen for themselves, their families? Please share in the comments! Uncle Steve and I chose Psalm 40 as "our chapter" when we were first married. This has become more of a prayer to us as the years go on, a guide to praying. But it is amazing how applicable it has been for the path God has us on as we read it each year.

At the end of this chapter, Andy shares a family prayer from Proverbs 27:12
"Lord, help us to see troubles coming long before it gets here. And give us the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it."
Wow, that is an important prayer! A prayer that would help us to be aware of the wrong path...like the examples Andy uses of those he knows those who have chosen smoking and are now living with lung cancer, or those who have chosen to live above one's financial means and live with the consequences of debt. Yet there are those other times in life when a loved one suffers from cancer for no apparent choice they made, or you are let go by a company not because of your work choices, but their choices. Those difficult things that happen to us not because of a choice that we have made, but it becomes part of the path we are on. Then what? Well, this is also the time for the above prayer...give us the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it...reminds me of

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"

I know I could make some seriously bad choices on how to respond to the difficult times that have surprised me on the path, but by the grace of God...He has awesome "principles" about this too! Trust...wait...pray...love...

How Do I Know I'm On The Wrong Path?

First of all, thanks Hans for setting this up and sorry it's taken me (Matt) so long to put together my first post. I'm looking forward to seeing this grow and develop until the next Family Reunion.

I think the thing that I like the most about the Principle of the Path is its simplicity. Actual direction - not intentions - determines our destination. From an intellectual standpoint thats a pretty easy concept to understand. From a personal reflection standpoint it's also a pretty easy concept to apply to our own situations. So why is it that it is still so hard to admit that we are lost and on the wrong path sometimes where are direction and intentions are not aligned?

I think Andy sums it up perfectly when he talks about the powerful, emotional appeal of the wrong path. As humans not one of us is perfect and so we make flawed decisions, and when we make them we are convinced they are the right one's. I think the biggest lesson that I am taking from the first three chapters is the need to take time to be with God and to ask him to show me the situations where my direction and intention are not aligned. I truly believe that in asking God to show us, he will.

The question then becomes, am I willing to stop. Turn around, and follow the right path, even when it's hard? My prayer for us as a family is that we would be willing, and to encourage each other when being on the right path is hard.

Chapters 4-5

I hope everyone who wrote and read about chapters 1-3 enjoyed the blogging experience.  I've heard through the back-channels that a few other contributors might be posting soon, but I won't mention any names (Brad, Cranney).

So let's move on to the next couple chapters.  Remember, you can always go back and read previous posts.  You can also go back and comment on other posts.  If this happens more and more I can set it up where we get notifications when someone comments on an older post that may have gotten "buried."  You can also feel free to "subscribe to follow-up comments" when you comment on someone's post - look at the very bottom.

So as we start the week where my Robertson Family Fantasy Football team had a 50-point destruction of Justin Olson's "team", let's look ahead to the next chapters of the book.  In the next two weeks let's plan on reading chapters 4-5.  Feel free to post whenever you have time.  If you start writing and can't finish, you can "save draft" and then come back and finish posting later.

Have a great couple weeks.  By the way:  Justin's team had a big loss on Sunday, but the family was still a winner -- Kelly finished the Chicago Marathon!!  Great job Kel.

-- Hans

Yahoo!!! The family blog is up and running!!!!

Hello dear family,

I am so thankful that Hans got this blog up and running. It is such a wonderful tribute to my mother. I am hoping that many contribute. I read chapters 1-3 and liked what I read very much. I think much of what he says makes perfect sense thus far. I felt convicted by how many times I say, "I should do such and such...." or "I really need to try and do..." Both statements are non-committal statements. The Principle of the Path would encourage me to say, "I will do such and such..." or "I am going to do ...." Those statements indicate follow through. I am looking forward to reading the next portion.

Paul has read the first half of the book. He will comment later. My dad has read the whole book and it really made him think about the here and now as he is making lots of decisions about his near future with moving.

Thank you to Uncle Paul and Aunt Jeri for picking out another great and practical book. Blessings to all of you as your read.

Love to you all,

Heather

PS When I have been up in the night nursing I have several times gotten gripped by fear over a variety of things. (ie H1N1) Anyway, by God's grace I have decided to take those thoughts captive and put them to rest and I am now praying for each one of you by name. If any of you have specific requests please let me know.

Aunt Sue ponders...

Aunt Sue here...blogging for the first time!(thanks to my son in law and excellent blogger, Hans:) Last Thursday morning I was attending a moms club at our church. Pam Olson, trainer of "Love and Logic" parenting method(author Charles Fey, www.loveandlogic.com )was the special speaker. I have heard her before and really support alot of the ideas that are taught to parents. The basic philosophy behind Love and Logic is to "train" your child to make choices that are beneficial to them. So at every age level the training looks different, but behind it all is the love a parent has for their child...a kind of love that looks way beyond the moment you are in, to the reality that as they grow "beyond you" as a parent, you have an opportunity to teach the important skills that will enable your child to know that their choices have consequences, good or bad.

As I was sitting at that meeting, surrounded by young moms with little people on their laps, I started to think about our family book club and the book we are reading by Andy Stanley and how this is a continual process for us all, isn't it? Every little step by every medium step, by every leap we make along the path God gives us...and in my view "step=choice".

I love the use of Proverbs in the first chapters. What do you think about their family choosing a verse that guides them? Anyone have a verse to share that helps guide them?

This Sunday we will cheer Hans on as he runs the Milwaukee marathon he has been training for...GO HANS! I watched Uncle Steve train for this run, up until his injury that stopped it all, and it is work! But crossing that finish line must be an awesome feeling. So when I think of all of you dear family I say "GO PEOPLE I LOVE!"and thank God for you all...
OK, what chapters are next again, what's the deadline:)?

What I think of chapters 1,2,3

Hello family - I actually figured this out, so Hans, you don't have to post my entry.

I have actually read the whole book already and found a lot of Andy's teaching applicable to help me in my decision making on all levels of life going forward. I feel that the first few chapters give a nice background on what the principle is. Very basic and sort of common sense, but as you keep reading you will find more depth to the Principe of the Path. I reread the first 3 chapters and have taken some time to think back over some major decisions that I have made in my life... career, relational, spiritual... and I know some of them could have turned out very differently if I would have asked more questions with wiser people and prayed fervently about what I should do before making the decision. I also do believe God is sovereign and knew that I was going to make those decisions and knew the outcome and is very forgiving - thankfully! When I think back on bad decisions I have made, I try to think of those outcomes as learning experiences and have strived to make better decisions in those areas going forward. I am so thankful to have so many wise people in the Robertson family (aunts and uncles - AND cousins!) to go to for counsel. I think I am jumping ahead a little, so I will stop here. Hope to see more posts on the blog. Thanks again Hans for setting this up.

Taking Time to Buy In (Chapters 1,2)

Let me preface this with the statement that Andy Stanley is in my top four speakers on the face of the planet.  I’d listen to him any day of the week.  But I’m not buying into the premise of his book yet.  In the first two chapters he’s trying to make the distinction between paths, destination, solutions, choices, and (I think) habits.  The picture isn’t clear to me yet.  (And so begins our trip towards vulnerability on this blog.)

I get the part about a principle being discovered - whether you believe it or not the principle still applies to your life.  And I get the idea of the harvest and reaping what you sow.  But what you sow seems to be a series of decisions which lead to the destination.  And that’s where I get confused about where Andy’s going with the path.  Isn't it about the decisions we make and the habits we've formed?

Maybe my confusion is because I feel I’m on the right path.  I’m certainly not at my destination, and some days I’m still debating the path.  But most of the time I feel confident of where I want to go in life – here I’m mostly talking career.  For me this book has begun with career in mind because it dominates so much of my thoughts and time.  I’m working in the tree care industry but I want to work in health and fitness as a medical staff or as a teacher.

I’ve read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People along with a slew of other personal management and leadership books.  I feel I’ve grown and developed into a man who knows where he wants to be and how to get there.  But when I’m not “there” and I read words like “people need a change of direction, not a solution” I get self-conscious that I’m not doing this right.

I guess this book will be a process for me.  I trust Andy’s teaching, writing, and leadership.  So I’m not worried or discouraged, but anxious to see where he’s going with this and how it will adjust my thinking about choices and destination.

Welcome to Nancy's Book Club

Nancy Delin had the longest running book club in the state of Minnesota. As a leader and a teacher, she was always a learner and a reader. As the Robertson family continues to remember Nancy, her brother Paul came up with the idea to create a family book club. Paul and his wife Jeri bought books for everyone in the family. Starting in 2007, they bought Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs for the married couples and Integrity by Henry Cloud for the singles.  The next year they bought How People Grow by Henry Cloud.  In 2009 we are reading the Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley.

Paul and Jeri's hope is that the family would continue the spirit of Nancy's book club. My hope is that we would have a forum to discuss what we're reading, processing, and learning.

I hope we can all enjoy the book and the discussion that ensues.  If this is the first blog you've ever worked with, we're happy you're here.  If this is the first book you've read, we need to talk.


Welcome!!

Starting Priciple of the Path

It's time to get this blog going.  I hope you've had a chance to at least read the back cover of our book, Principle of the Path.  Does the subject interest you?  The chapters are fairly short and so I hope you can get started on the first few.

I'm going to put out these guidelines for suggested reading and writing.  Let's try to have the first three chapters read within the next two weeks:  Chapters 1-3 by September 25th.  This will probably take you 45 minutes.  Then we can take the weekend to organize some thoughts for reactions to the reading.  As always, if you read ahead and want to comment before that feel, free to begin.  I suggest reading with a notecard as your book marker so you can take a few notes of ideas that catch your attention.  These are just suggestions to get us started together.

Here's some questions to ponder as you're reading:

• How do you see your life being affected by the principle of the path?
• Where do you think the path you're currently on will take you?
• Describe the destination you wish to reach.  Will your current path take you there?
• Has another path taken you away from a path you'd rather (or should) be on?
• What discrepancies exist between what you desire and what you're doing?

If you'd like to contribute to the blog, please email Aunt Sue and she will add you as an author - we're high security here at Nancy's Book Club.

Any other questions about blogging can be directed to Hans.

User Guide 1.0

Anyone can learn how to blog. A blog is a "web-log" - a website that contains thoughts and ideas which are logged in chronological order. So here's how it works:

"Blog Post #1" is posted. Anyone can read the post and decide if they want to comment on that post. It creates an online discussion. Based on this post, Comments #1,2,3, etc. get posted underneath Blog Post #1. This “conversation” can go back and forth for as long as people wish to comment and discuss “Blog Post #1.” Then...

"Blog Post #2" is posted. This is a new idea. Again, anyone can comment on this Post #2 or go back and comment on Post #1.

Eventually the blog consists of Blog Posts and Comments, original ideas and reactions and discussion to those ideas. Since we probably won't be reading the book at the same pace, it would be good to include the chapter number with your blog post's title so months down the road we know where the idea came from in the book:

Title: Choices vs. Direction (Chapter 1)

If anyone would like further explanations, please email me.

Remember, the posts are in reverse chronological order - the latest post will be on top, older stuff at the bottom.

Blogging is a fun way to stay connected with people and events. This blog will create an informal forum for us to discuss the book of the year.

Lastly, for you to be able to post, you'll have to email Aunt Sue to be listed as an author. Happy reading and writing.

Jump Start

It's two days after the Robertson Family Reunion has ended. I'm excited to learn that there's some interest in organizing this blog (or Facebook?) to be a forum for discussing the family book club. It's been titled Nancy's Book Club in honor of Aunt Nancy who passed away last fall. Nancy was an avid reader, and Uncle Paul and Aunt Jeri have decided to provide books-of-the-year to the family to encourage Nancy's spirit of reading and learning.

Blogging is a great way to organize a book club for a group this size (and this far separated geographically). Here's how it works:

• Each year will focus primarily on the current year's book. (But since we have already been through two other books without discussions, you can create a blog post on older books for now.) This year's book is Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley.
  
• Each blog post will address either an entire chapter or a specific idea from a chapter.
• Under each blog post members can comment and continue the discussion with reactions and their own thought of the chapter or idea being discussed.

If you have any questions about blogging, please email me::: Hans.Schiefelbein@gmail.com

I will set up the blog such that anyone can post a comment. HOWEVER, this will work best and look best if each person creates a Gmail account. Gmail is an extremely easy email client to use and organize. It will allow each member to create a profile including a picture so we can easily see who's saying what on each blog post. I would be happy to set up a gmail for you if that would make things easier for you.

So here we go. I'll be moderating throughout the year. If you're only comfortable reading right now, enjoy. But I challenge each person who's going to read Principle of the Path to at least create one blog post before we close up on this book.

Happy reading!!